orchestra

I go to the place where the human spirit resides
and I'm on a precipice over a dark empty hole
a draft of unclean air, and silence
has anyone been told about this?
there's just nothing there, unbelievable
but I'm looking and looking again
all those brave human ideals do not exist
I can't find any of them
what I do find:
symphonies were written for imaginary emotions
paeans to fictional characters
flag flying for no earthly belief
your children die for tales
by your own calculations, your God wouldn't have you
a most elaborate conspiracy
to convince us we are all so wonderful
and therefore look the other way
and not bother with the numbers

what my hair is doing today

Here's a photo of Ashy's hair. You don't get to see the rest of my face. I look like I haven't had enough sleep for the last several years.

( protecting the children! )

(no subject)

Good or evil?: pay toilets in a place of business which specializes in the sale of diuretic beverages.

angst bucket

It was only tonight that I noticed a pattern. Of the three serious relationships I've been in-- the ones I consider serious, where I felt really strongly about who I was going with --the other person didn't want anyone to know we were seeing each other. Anyone who wasn't, by circumstance, privy to that information was not informed.

The first explanation which comes to mind is that I'm an embarrassment. A secondary hypothesis is that they were embarrassed of their feelings for me, and a tertiary one is they were embarrassed to be in an uneven relationship where I was so obviously enamoured of them. I don't know how true any of these are, but it's an interesting pattern.

I can't recall any relationships I've been in where I didn't want anyone to know, at least while it was going on. Maybe there were and I find them forgettable.