a fashion tip for the gentlemen

So I went over to Chez Jacques to pick up a couple of Extreme Sausage sandwiches and some French toast sticks, and I ordered and I'm hanging around waiting for it, and this chick sitting in the corner of the restaurant is glancing at me with a kind of avid dread... not making eye contact, but looking around the level of my waist. I go on meandering a while, and at some point I glance down at myself and figure it out.

Bikini underwear + sweatpants = massive, scary bulge.

There you go. Use it for good, not for evil.