(no subject)

Part of me says, "You really need to try harder to find work, it's really important, you're seriously going to be in trouble if you don't get some kind of income." Another part, a really small part, says, "Don't worry about it, things will work out, they always work out." And then a third part, a little bigger than the second part but not nearly as big as the first part, says, "Getting a job working for someone else is going to keep you from doing what you want to do with your artwork and writing and everything else. Because it's easy. You'll get a job and start making money again, and you'll be comfortable, and you'll have a comfortable, predictable routine, and you'll have no motivation to make yourself achieve something with your real work. At least this way you've got some pressure." And the thing is, the third voice is right. That's exactly what will happen. But putting myself in a position where I have to achieve something, going up to the edge, is really dangerous.